Lesson #5: Life is Lila

Yesterday I was writing about feeling overcome by playful, childlike energy and wondering what to do with that. I always have this voice in my head that tells me I'm lazy (thanks Mom! :D hehe... just teasing). But if I say that out loud, someone always points out to me all the things I've accomplished and therefore I can't really be lazy.

Yet, lately, when I started feeling like I didn't want to do anything that might vaguely resemble work, it made that "you're lazy" voice in my head a little nervous. I could feel it trembling inside, looking around and thinking, Should I say something about this?

But I've trained myself to allow some time for observation before I freak out. It's a necessary life strategy. Otherwise, I'd be freaking out all the time.

One of my intentions was to create a magical life where I didn't have to think about money anymore and I created that. The Universe/ Spirit/ Intent/Goddess/Source/Providence/ the Elusive Unnameable has kept it rolling in and finally I realized, like a light-bulb turning on, that I had achieved that intention. In other words, I was fully aligned with Intent.

The reason I wanted to create a life where I didn't have to think about money was because of the other intention I originally wrote about in this same blog back on March 21st, 2009, titled "The First Step": http://thefoolsjourneyamemoir.blogspot.com/2009/03/first-step.html

I said, "Every decision from this point on will be based on love, not fear." One of the things I discovered was that if I didn't trust that my needs would be met, it was very difficult to live such that all my decisions were based on love rather than fear. So really the first step was to create a life where I trusted that all my needs would be met. And recently I've come to see that I achieved that intention.

So I haven't completely figured out yet how to work with this playful, childlike energy. I'm just going to surf it for a while and see how it goes. One of the things I did was order The Ultimate Anti-Career Guide by Rick Jarow from the library. I want to listen to it again because this is the sort of thing he talks about.

He says, "Imagine your whole life as Lila, the play of the Divine."

Here's a basic definition of Lila from Wikipedia: "Lila is a way of describing all reality, including the cosmos, as the outcome of creative play by the divine absolute....It is created out of Bliss, by Bliss and for Bliss. Lila indicates a spontaneous sportive activity of Brahman as distinguished from a self-conscious volitional effort....The basic motif of an unfolding or flowering cosmos is expressed here specifically in the relation of male to female, as well as in terms of consciousness and intentionality....the all-comprehensive Divine Being in its cosmic aspect of playful, aimless display (lila) - which precipitates pain as well as joy, but in its bliss transcends them both."

"Lila is comparable to the Western position of pandeism, which describes the Universe as God taking a physical form in order to experience the interplay between the elements of the Universe."

Boiled down to its simplest form, life is play. We're like children in the cosmic playground. Most of the time we're alive in the bliss of play, but sometimes we bump our heads, like when I was in preschool. Standing on top of the fort, a boy told me, "Stay here. You're my prisoner." But when I saw my mom walk onto the playground, I rushed to the slide. On my way down I saw the little boy standing at the bottom with an angry look on his face. I slipped straight into his fist in my gut.

I sure hope things go better for me now. :D